The future... a reality or just a dream?

I was about to post on my birthday and share the simple moments I've spent on being 20. Yet sadly, my 20th birthday isn't really much to celebrate. When I was young, I always look forward to the day of my birthday, but as I grew old I didn't expect much out of it. Maybe it's an adult-becoming-getting-older-thing. Either way, I really didn't have that much of a blast.

The day started of with me being bug by my old firends in my cellphone. My bestfreind greeted me and told me that she's 7 mos. pregnant. I was so surprised that she's giving birth on May and now asking to be her child's "ninang". Then I had breakfast, I saw my mom already making food and greeted me with a smile. I was so happy by then, even a simple greeting from my mom means a lot to me. I asked where my dad is, but mom said he's at work. It was a bit of a turn-off when dad wasn't here on my birthday. By he did sent me a text message and greeted me happy birthday. Ok, that made me feel a lil better. My lil bro treated me a lil nicely back then too. I was contented with just being with my family.

But~ my day wasn't all simple and clean. I stood up and got ready for school, yeah I got an exam on my birthday. And to top it all up, it's one of my major subjects. So I went to school a bit early and spent my free time reviewing. My friends and classmates gave me their greetings and returned them with a thank you. It really made me smile, even though my head was already aching from the things I'm studying. My friend Nica even gave a a bar of chocolate, she knew I lov chocolates. Then my Friend Jenny gave me a knitted cellphone strap made by her mom. It was so cute, I love simple handmade gifts.

Then finally, exam time came and I was so nervous when I took it. I whispered a simple short prayer before answering it, coz by then I needed guidance to pass this exam. It really freakin' hard. When I passed my answer sheet, I met up with my thesismates. We prepped our thesis for submission and passed it that day. But the unexpected reality hit us like a buolder rolling down the mountain ---- We're not included in the list of schedules of oral defense. That really pissed me off, wtf happened?! we finished our thesis on time, yet we don't have a sched?! blast it all!

After calming myself down, we've decided to calll on our adviser and tell her about our problem. She assured us that we'll be on the list, but she didn't even know that she's gonna be on the defense for 2 days. gawd... that day was so frustrating.

The frustration lightly subsided when I got home. My mom was cooking spaghetti, and the smell of fried chicken filled the chicken. It really made me hungry after the nosebleed-exam I took. When we're about to start eating, my mom opened a big box of cake at the table, it was a mocha cake with pink and white frosting on it. The celebration isn't really much, I don't have any visitors and friends that I invited, it was only us three, my mom, me and my bro and with my dad at work.

After eating I went up and spent my time online. I was a bit more happy after seeing my forum friends' greeting from the birthday thread my hubby made. I was really happy back then, at least they gave me more reason to be happy on my birthday.

Yet sadly, my happiness on that day was short-lived, when my dad gave me a letter of approved immigration to New Zealand. It's true, by next year after my graduation, my whole family and I will be going to New Zealand to start a new life. Of course, in my inner most thoughts, it felt like both my heart and soul were shattered into tiny pieces. And yet my face gave a mask of happiness when my dad told me the "great" news". I couldn't be more happier for y father, he worked so hard to get this immigration, and now here I am thinking of what my future will be when the next 2009 comes.

I told this news to my significant other the next night, I can't affor to tell him at once becuase I thought it was all just a joke from my dad. It was only then that I realized that our immgiration was indeed a reality. I confirmed it when my dad told me he'll be giving me a new laptop for my next birthday. But I said I'd rather have a car by next year after I graduate, of course, I was only koing with that line. But my dad told me I wouldn't be needing a car, since we'll be going away here soon. His words struck deep into my heart, and gave me anguish pain down to the very ends of my soul. Yte my pain was kept deep inside me, with a false smile etched on my face. I was trying to hide my ture feelings...

Then after dinner, I immediately dialed my significant other and told him the news. It hit him hard, as hard it hit me. Silence fell in the telephone lines and only our breathing can be heard. Soon, silence broke with my little sobs of sadness. What will I do now? Will I go away and leave you here? How about us? How about me? How about my career? How will I live my life I I continue to live under the same roof with my parents? These questions haunted me like suffocating nightmare in the night. These same words I spoke to my boyfriend and slowly drowned into my own tears.

I dont' want to go, that's my decison. And my reason is not only becaus of love, but because of letting myself to be independent. I want to start my own life, I wanna make my own decisions, I wanna live my story and continue to pursue my dreams. I'm staying her to practice my career, I'm not only here to get my license, but I'm here to be an effective nurse. At least I wanna stay here and practice my nursing career, and then when the time comes go to abroad and work myself till I die. Then, when I have enough money, I'll bring my family here to live anew. That's my plan for my future. For me, for my family, and to what I wanna be in the future.

But my plans are slowly drifting away, when my dad said about going to New Zealand. That's not in my plans... Now I'm confused of what to do to myself.

I'm scared...

I'm scared of what the future will bring...

I'm scared of reality...

I'm scared of losing my love...

That night, I prayed... I prayed so hard to God to listen to my heart. I asked for guidance and for strenght. I prayed that I wish that that night was only just a dream...

If only it was a dream... wake me up...

My dream, my knight... my Abel...

I had a really weird dream last night. Weird and at the same time scary. I slept around 11:30 pm that night, coz I was studying in advance for my exams. At first I couldn't sleep, so I turned on my TV and watched some late night cartoons at CN. Slowly, sleep followed and drifted off to dreamland.

It was dark and could see nothing but the emptiness of space. It was then that I heard a distinct sound from a far. I searched for the direction to where I believe my ears leads me. Eventually, I saw a figure of a tall man in his middle age. He has long white straight hair that glistened in this darkness. He wore a long heavy black coat that blends well with the environment. I know him, he's Abel Nightroad.

I know its weird... I was dreaming of an anime character that night. But my dream doesn't end with only Abel. It continued to move on as I see more Traitor Game characters. I saw from my dream kuya Megane's character Satou, ate jetz's Nozomu. I also saw Tetsu and Negi, K', Lulu and even my old PC Euphie. But the worst part is, I saw dark menacing figure of the lord of Barovia, Strahd von Zarovich.

I dreamt of running away from the evil presence of the dark lord. trying so hard to get away from his shadow enveloping us to a deeper blanket of darkness. I swear that I was so freaked out seeing Strahd's pair of red eyes glaring at us. I could hear his evil maniac laugh echoing in the darkness.

I felt so scared back then, that I could only run and scream my heart out. I reached out my hand hoping that someone might pull me out this dream and wake me up. And would you believe that the one who grabbed my hand was the white haired priest, Abel.

I felt his strong arm grabbed mine, his deep blue eyes peircing past his glasses and looking into mine. That last thing I saw was the slender smile etched on his face and his gentle orbs that told me silently that everything will be alright.

it was him that pulled me out of that terrible nightmare. I know that to those who will read this, you'll probaly think its not that terrible after all, and some might even laught at it. But to me, a dream like this is something that I would think of dreaming again.

By then time I woke up, I was already breathing heavily, sweating coldly in this warm night. I couldn't hide under my blanket as to what I always do, due to the heat of the night. My blanket serves as a comfort relief for me and gives me a feeling of being secure as it envelops me in the night. So as of instinct, I immediately called UC by the phone for comfort, as to what I always do. I told him my dream and let me stay for awhile with him.

Slowly, I forgot the feeling of fear and helplessness from my dream just by hearing my Significant Other's voice. My dearest Abel came to my rescue that night.

Our last clinical rotation: The day I felt like a real Cmt'y Health Nurse

We finally came to the point where we will spend our last clinical rotation for this semester. Our group went to Bagbaguin Caloocan Health Center to finish the last rotation. It was a rather long trip from the school, and we even got strangled in a traffic jam on our first day. I didn’t expect that Bagbaguin would be so far away, and is probably located on the mountains. Luckily we rented a service for this trip, and then eventually found the center we’re looking for.

Bagbaguin Health Center was a rather big center we’ve seen so far in our rotations. It was located between the church and an elementary school. There, we finally met our Clinical Instructor, Ma’am Racquel Bernardo. She seems nice and kind towards us, not to mention her smile that greeted us. Not much CIs smile towards us often.

After a few minutes of orientation and a little tour around the place, we headed to the other health center which is at Caybiga. Caybiga Health center was a little small compared to Bagbauin, but even so, the place was still packed with mothers and babies. We were a bit shocked seeing the large numbers of mothers with their babies to be immunized. But even so, the health workers at the place were so nice and good to us, we often ask for their guidance in our work.

When we placed out bags down, we grabbed our stuff and headed straight to battle. We were assigned to each station, which are: admitting patients, taking vital signs, health teaching and immunizations. At first, I got assigned in the admitting station, where I did countless interviews and health teachings to the mothers. I know I made a lot of mistakes in recording and documenting the necessary data for chart, but little by little I learned a lot from my mistakes.

After a while, I finally got the chance to immunize babies and mothers. I thought I’m gonna be stuck downstairs and forever interview mothers. Thankfully, I got my chance to hold my syringe and poke them. I was really looking forward to this, coz I want to train myself in injecting syringes.

By the time we’re done with immunization, we ate our lunch and rested for a bit. Later in the afternoon, we went out to public and began giving off free Vitamin A to children. To add a little bit of spice and fun for the day, we took it as a race for us to who finishes with the most number of Vit. A given. We slipped in every nooks and crannies of the small town and gave vit. A drops for kids. We finished by 5:30 pm and got the number of 74 capsules of vit. A. It was a close fight for all of us, we were ranked 2nd place. It’s not that bad, we enjoyed giving off vitamins and helping people in need. It really made the end of our first day a blast.

The second day of our duty wasn’t really much different from the first. But this time, we worked at Bagbaguin Center. Since the place was much bigger than Caybiga, the place has more mothers and babies in line. Again, I started off with the admitting station, then to the immunization. Slowly, I got used in injecting babies and mothers. But I still make mistakes in recording in the patients charts. I learned I gotta take it slow and analyze the situation first, before writing stuff down on the chart. I even got reprimanded by our CI, but I took it in a nice way and viewed it for me to improve for the next time. I don’t mind being scolded, for as long as my mistakes are corrected, my skills will be improved for the better. I was fortunate to have a CI like Ma’am Racquel, she’d always explain to me how to do and what to do in the area. And I am thankful for her guidance.

In the afternoon, after the immunization and prenatal check-ups, we handled TB patients. To be honest, I was so scared in handling communicable patients. But I learned that we nurses must know how to deal with such cases. I handled 3 TB patients, and taught them on how to take their meds. I did a little health teaching on explaining what TB is. I also found out, that these patients are in a state of depression, so we nurses must learn and teach them on how to cope and deal with it.

After that, we ended the day by going to another small town and giving off free vitamin A for kids. It was a new program of DOH for April, so we’re starting off early this March to meet the target goal. We didn’t give that much that day, we only gave around 50 capsules or so. But even so, it felt good helping out people in a way.

When we went back to pack our things, we took a little moment to take pictures for documentations, as well as to make memories of the days we’ve spent in our last clinical rotation. I can say, it was a fun and tiring experience, but then again, we enjoyed that exhausting work all day. For me, those 2 days at bagbaguin really made me feel like a true Community Health Nurse.

HTVF Christmas Party!

Yeah! This is the best gift I got this Christmas! A 10 Voices Lacus Clyne I-doll! I was so happy when I finally got it from my dearest Significant Other. I'm so happy that I could cry.

I got it yesterday, when UC and I met at Mcdo Fairview before we head out to the party. It was wrapped in a pretty pink wrapper, that I really don't want to open due to my hubby's gift wrapping skills. XD But I still like it... ehehe

The moment I opened it, I couldn't wait to try her out. So we stripped her out of her box to try out the 10 voices. Eight of them are from ep 24-46 of GSD, the other two are original voices.






The details were great, from her pink hair down to her delicate feet. Though we were very careful to pull her out the box, even in untwinning her wires which are very hard to pull out. Heck I can't let anything bad happen to my dear dear Lacus. Not even a single scratch to her kunoichi outfit.












And speaking of details, she's even detailed down there. She's wearing a pink thong undie. XD

In which UC tried to peak at it. Pantyshot. T___T nice try hon... but no...

Anyways, this is definitely a gift to remember AND to treasure. Coz I know he went through the trouble to hund down this gift.



Thanks so much hon. Love you ^___^



Moving along, UC and I waited at Mcdo for Chacha to arrive. We hang out for awhile before we finally set off to the party. And again, for the second time and second xmas party - we got lost. T___T


Luckily, Yuber and kuya tomiko and the gand were still at Mcdo Q. Ave.




By the time we finally arrived at ESNA bldg. there were already lotsa people inside. Not so long, the party started with the introduction of the newbies, along with some picture taking.

And a little after that, its chow time!The food was ok, lotsa sweets are there, like donuts and cakes.







And then after eating, here comes the fun part - GAMES! We played picture frame, in which we'll pose into something what they want us to portray. Here we did a belen... ehehe... poor Crono XD









woohoo... we won the mirmo plushie next time mirumo naman XD great job to UC for knowing the history answers, and Cha for kuya Leo's name... as for me na mental block ako sa excitement... dun ako hiniblood . gomen to kuya gdawg for screaming a high pitch voice at the last round na overwhelm ako *giggles*








All in all the party was great. Thanks to kuya g, ate cha and ate edz and rest of the admods for making it such a fun day. We truly are a one big happy family forum ^___^

Minmay on H3

Do you remember? The time when our eyes first met?
Do you remember? The time when our hands first touched? That was the very first time I set out on the journey of love.
I love you so.


^^ Do you know what those lines are? Those lines are from the song Do You Remember Love, sung by the legendary songstress of anime - Lynn Minmay from Macross.

Lynn Minmay is one of my fave anime character of all time. Being known as the VERY FIRST singer idol in the history of anime. Plus hearing the song Do You Remember Love from Macross will definitely inspire you to love this one of a kind songstress.



Yep, it's true. I cosplayed Minmay back on the 2nd day of H3 (Dec. 2 2007 at SMX). It's a shame though, that I didn't get the chance to join the cosplay contest. But despite that, I still had fun. This event could be one of the happiest cons I've been this year. One reason, is that both me and my Significant Other (Ultimate Coordinator) are both veteran forumers in HERO TV Forum. Plus the fact that we're hanging out with our forum buddies.

The event itself was good, though I heard some complaints to many cosplayers about the exhausting line for 2 hrs. eehehhhe... I guess joining big cons have its disadvantages XD.

But even so, I still enjoyed it, lotsa booths and anime stores, contests and games, and of course food!

As usual for cosplayers is to meet new cosplay friends and be taken pics by photographers. Of course I enjoyed posing and stuff, but the thing I enjoyed most is walking around the area with my hubby XD.

Though there are a lot of times we've been separated by some people who wanna take my pics. I was surprised that still some people knows my character of this classic anime which is Macross.

Speaking of Macross, they said there were cosplayer from Filcosplay( http://cosplay.ph/forums/ ), attended and cosplayed some Macross cosplayers like Myung and Max Jenius, and ofcourse the popular hi-tech singer Sharon Apple.

Not only that, Sailor Mars was there! I took the liberty of asking to take a pic of her for some cosplay memories.

To add things up, 2 of my classmates came to see me cosplay. It was so nice of them to come and support me.

ANd seeing me in costume made them drop their jaws XD. Its not eveyday that they see their Nursing classmate in a costume.

And speaking of costume, my forum friends and I, took some rounds to walk around the area. And we were hit by lotsa flashes from cameras. LOL. From the left,that's namelissis, then yuuki_setsu and then me. The booth behind us was the booth of hero forumers, where we hung out.

All in all, I had fun, being with my hubby and my friends. I never thought that being an otaku can be so much fun. Plus being a cosplayer for your fave character can be more fun then ever. XD

PS: thanks to UC, namelissis, kuya tomiko, Tammy and Fart for the pics.

Do You Remember Minmay?

This coming Dec. 1-2 on SMX, is the much awaited event of Hataw Hanep Hero 3. Anime fans will gathering in one place to participate and join the event. Lotsa games and activities will be there and so as booths of your fave anime store. Thanks a lot to HTVF and Filcosplay for the infos. http://cosplay.ph/forums/

And of course, this event is very important to those anime fans that will be participating in the cosplay event. Cosplayers like me will be very much likely to be excited in this convention.

Sadly, I won't be able to participate in the cosplay event due to my class, so I'll be costripping again. But this time, my costrip will be one of my fave anime characters in all time.

Lynn Minmay fom Macross/Robotech, a classic anime in the year 1982. Known as the Legendary Singer in the universe of Anime. The songstress who used her songs to battle the forces of Zentraedi for the survival of mankind. It is through her that inspired the thought of using songstresses for anime Like Lacus Clyne (my fave), Meer Campbell, Wong Liu Mei, etc.

So this year, I wanna try something out by costripping this one of a kind pop idol Minmay, to revive her songs and memories for the love of Macross! ehehe


Anyways, I wanna share to you guys about my costume this H3. It's really not much and I didn't spend much money for this costume too. *what luck XD*

Starting with her white dress, since I don't have much time to ask my aunt to sew it for me, I bought a white tube top and borrowed a white pleated skirt from my fellow forumer- Femme Fatale aka Rouge Cagalli.

Then for the pink ribbon and scarf along with the white transparent skirt, those are the only things I asked my aunt to sew for me, which cost me 250 bucks.

My boots were the same I used in my Lacus costume, I only made my own boot covers to match up my costume.

Then for the gloes, I bought a pair at SM and dyed it pink, using fabric dye.

All in all, this costume cost me 470 Php. I told you its not much ehehehe. A good costume doesn't mean you have to spend much too... XD Im sooo excited to try this out, so I can't wait for the event. All i can do now is wait for Dec 2 and at the same time practice my dance steps. ehehehhe

PS: credit to RC for the skirt. XD

The day when my dreams came true.

Hooraaayyy for my first costrip! Well yeah its not much of a cosplay coz i didn't get the chance to register on time fo the event. But even so, the feeling of wearing the same outfit and portaying your fave anime character is superb. I really dunno what are the right words to say and describe how i felt that day. But I know fo a fact that I truly enjoyed my first costip in UP AME '07.

I got a lot of smiles and "thanks" from my friends fo commenting on my costume. They told me that I look good in Lacus' kunoichi outfit. *blush*

Anyways, back to topic, the event was good. It was a bit small, but it could accomodate the whole otaku people and enjoy the like of an otaku. Many thanks to cosplay. ph = http://cosplay.ph/news.php for bringing all those otaku fans together.



One thing only bothers me though, its the fact that I didn't get the chance to wear my wig much. I didn't expect that the venue would be sooooo hot. I have the knack of fainting in hot places, plus the crowd makes me dizzy and faint.

What I like about the event, is that I got the chance of buying some anime stuff. I bought 3 keychains for 100 bucks, i gave one to my hubby, which he totally wants Haruhi in a bunny suit. And UC bought me gashapons/ anime figurines of Kira and Lacus, and a couple of CDs of Shakugan No Shana and Mai Otome.






My fave aspect in my costume would be wearing the outfit itself, and ofcourse carrying that famous pink ball aka Pink chan/Haro. I worked so hard to get one, all thanks to one of HTVF's forumers - Clone.

Carrying haro made me feel more In Character *giggles*

It was fun posing and smiling in font of cams, but it was also tiring and the flashes makes me temporarily blind. @__@
Cosplay really is a wonderful thing when it comes to an otaku. Its a chance for you, me and all of us to be like the character that you adore and love.



And ofcourse, you'll never know that the anime that you know and love will bring hearts together. Like to what happened to me and my Significant Other (UC). And to make things better, freinds will be there for you for support and emotional back-up. This special pic is us three fiends fom Hero TV Forum, from the left: jhisk as Cornet, namelissis as Lili and me as Lacus.

For me, I'll never ever forget that day, Nov 24, 2007 at UP Bahay ng Alumni or UP AME - "The day when my dreams came true..."



PS: Thanks to Yuber, Rikkaidai, namelissis and UC for the pics